Essential Conversations with Aging Parents

Cameron Huddleston, a financial journalist, faced the challenge of discussing finances with her mother, who had Alzheimer’s disease. This experience led her to emphasize the importance of early financial conversations with parents. Her book, Mom and Dad, We Need to Talk: How to Have Essential Conversations with Your Parents About Their Finances, covers these crucial discussions.

1. Understanding End-of-Life Plans

Parents might hesitate to share details of their finances. Huddleston suggests asking them for advice on your own financial decisions as a gentle entry point. Their responses can reveal their own planning efforts. For instance, if they support drafting a will, it indicates they might have plans in place.

2. Assessing Their Ability to Manage Affairs

Be vigilant for changes in your parents’ spending that seem unusual, such as forgotten bill payments. Changes can suggest cognitive decline. Encouraging a health checkup becomes vital in these cases. A power of attorney and living will may be necessary to manage their affairs.

3. Having a Will

A will dictates how a person’s assets are distributed after their death. Without one, state law decides asset distribution, which can complicate matters. It’s important to keep the will safe, as it is needed for the court to release assets.

4. Power of Attorney

Should your parents be unable to make decisions, a power of attorney allows someone to manage their finances. This document is essential for those experiencing cognitive decline. State-specific forms are available online, and notarization is important for validity.

5. Living Will for Medical Wishes

A living will specifies medical treatment preferences if a person is incapacitated. It prevents family members from making critical medical decisions without knowing their loved one’s wishes. Discuss scenarios and document preferences to avoid future distress.

6. Preparing for Long-Term Care

Eventually, your parents might need help with daily tasks. Long-term care options range from in-home help to assisted living facilities. Costs vary, with a home health aide in Lakewood, Calif., averaging $2,666 for ten hours of service. Long-term care insurance can mitigate these expenses, and early investment in such policies is advisable.

Consulting a financial planner can be helpful, as they can assess your parents’ financial situation and suggest strategies for affording care.

7. Passwords Access

In emergencies, quick access to your parents’ accounts is crucial. Encouraging them to safely store passwords ensures you can handle urgent financial or medical needs without delay.

8. Offering Reassurance

If your parents resist discussions, emphasize your concern for their welfare. Planning helps maintain their independence. Assure them that these measures are for their benefit and well-being.

This episode of Life Kit was produced by Margaret Cirino and edited by Sylvie Douglis. The digital story was edited by Malaka Gharib and the visual producer is Kaz Fantone. For more expert advice on various topics, subscribe to the Life Kit newsletter.