Erika Kirk Reflects on Grief One Year After Her Husband Charlie Kirk’s Assassination

Erika Kirk shared her experience of coping with grief following the assassination of her husband, Charlie Kirk, in a New York Times guest essay titled “What I’ve Learned About Grief.” Charlie Kirk, the leader of Turning Point USA (TPUSA), was shot and killed at Utah Valley University on September 10, 2025. Erika Kirk described her journey through the first year without him and the advice that comforted her during this challenging time.

The first day following the tragedy felt “like a fever dream” for Kirk, as she confided to second lady Usha Vance. In response, Vance provided words of support that have remained with Erika Kirk. She compared the experience to preparing to land on an airplane with children, saying that if you can manage to get through the disruptions of the next 15 minutes, everything will eventually settle down.

Erika Kirk found solace in this advice. Simple reminders of her husband’s presence, such as his toothbrush and towel, were difficult, yet Vance’s words guided her. She recalled standing in the doorway of their bedroom, debating whether she was ready to face the memories. Finding comfort with her young daughter, she followed the mantra to “just get through the next 15 minutes.” Kirk allowed herself to gradually confront the pain, acknowledging missing milestones like birthdays and traditional family celebrations.

“Grief is strange. Time continues even when every part of you wants it to pause or rewind. The people we love who have passed on would not want us to spend the rest of our lives trying to rewind,” Kirk stated in her essay.

Through time, she realized that while she initially needed survival, Charlie Kirk would have wanted her to embrace life. Kirk emphasized not being angry at God and expressed gratitude for knowing and loving Charlie, who dedicated his life to leading others to faith and purpose. Although the waves of grief continue, Erika Kirk embraces these moments as connections to her husband.

Grief, she noted, is an experience that everyone encounters, regardless of background or beliefs. Kirk learned to balance grieving and living life, affirming that it’s possible to miss a loved one while still finding joy. Her advice to others grieving is drawn from her support network: tackle life 15 minutes at a time, eventually realizing that life holds more than just grief.

Psychotherapist Jonathan Alpert lauded Usha Vance’s advice for helping to manage grief. He stated that focusing on small increments like 15 minutes can reduce anxiety and provide resilience. Alpert emphasized that true resilience doesn’t mean pretending everything is fine but allows for coexistence of pain and life’s continuation.

Charlie Kirk, founder of TPUSA, promoted conservatism on college campuses across the United States. His legacy is carried on by his wife and family, who continue to find their way through shared memories and ongoing life moments.