Feeling Like Outsiders at a Brother-in-Law’s Funeral

Dear Say More,

My husband and I undertook a lengthy and costly trip to attend the funeral of my brother-in-law. Despite being close relatives, we felt marginalized during the service. We have no children, but we have always maintained a strong bond with this part of the family, which includes great-nieces and nephews.

Throughout the event, we experienced a sense of being outsiders, not truly part of the immediate family circle. This came as a surprise given our history of closeness with them.

How do we approach this situation? How can we express our feelings without adding more tension during this period of mourning? We value the relationship but wish to understand our standing within the family more clearly.