Supporting Strength Through Pregnancy Loss and IVF Challenges

As I awaited the ultrasound, anxiety surged within me. My past experiences made this apprehension understandable. Living in Valparaiso, Indiana, my life has been fortified by the presence of my husband, Ryan, for the past eight years. His unwavering support has been my anchor.

In 2022, I became a mother to Nellie, believing it to be the happiest day of our lives. Doctors assured us of her health as we brought her home. That night, a devastating incident unfolded. Nellie passed away while asleep.

The loss of my daughter shattered my world. However, resilience emerged as we pursued IVF in 2024. The journey was fraught with difficulties, with two egg retrievals yielding no eggs. I chose to pause, reassess, and take a breath.

A surprising twist occurred in February 2025. I naturally conceived but soon faced a chemical pregnancy confirmed by tests within five days. Though challenging, the loss felt different, having endured the profound grief of losing my daughter.

We took another chance at IVF with a different clinic, leading to another pregnancy. Our excitement confronted unexpected doubts as the nine-week ultrasound showed a faint heartbeat, far from reassuring.

When the crucial July ultrasound arrived, anxiety peaked. With our home powerless in Northwest Indiana, Ryan and I stayed with my in-laws. As we left for the appointment, my mother-in-law, Liesl, noticed my demeanor. Overwhelmed, I revealed my fears.

Documenting my pregnancy on TikTok as @elleighhasababy became a medium for sharing an honest journey—an amalgamation of highs and lows. Hopeful, I captured the appointment’s essence.

Reality struck when the ultrasound confirmed the absence of Poppy’s heartbeat. Measured at 7 weeks and 6 days rather than 10 weeks and 2 days, disbelief enveloped me. My priority was finding refuge with Ryan amidst the confusion.

Returning to my in-laws’ home, we comforted each other. Despite the anguish, I shared the video on TikTok to foster connection among women facing similar challenges. My intent was to combat isolation with community.

Reactions varied, with criticism targeting my initial response to the technician’s attempt at comfort. Her touch felt intrusive during my vulnerability.

While many videos celebrate joyful pregnancy moments, I emphasize the importance of sharing struggles too. Infertility, failed IVF cycles, successful treatments, and losses are integral aspects of the journey.

Though grief permeates these moments, hope perseveres—a hope for healthy parenthood. As I recover from the dilation and curettage procedure, I reflect on the video, seeing a woman in shock yet determined.

Having experienced the ultimate loss with Nellie, I understand resilience. This setback, while heartbreaking, does not define the end. Supported by Ryan and my family, especially my dad, Jeff Shaw, our future plans are brightening. Our doctor strategizes next steps, preparing for another embryo transfer.

Hope remains strong for what lies ahead.