Late Night Roundup: Comedy Highlights and World Cup Punchlines

Late Night Highlights

Welcome to the Late Night Roundup, your recap of last night’s comedy highlights. Jimmy Fallon spruced up the fair with jokes about attractions, including a dunk tank featuring JD Vance, a drunk tank with Kash Patel, a 110-foot Ferris wheel, and an antique carousel. He noted, “Unfortunately, Marco Rubio isn’t tall enough to ride them.” Fallon added, “Yep, the state fair will be a lot of fun, although if you win a goldfish, I’m pretty sure I know where they got the water from.”

As Fallon quipped, “Yep, the rally kicked off the 16-day Great American State Fair on the National Mall. There’s funnel cake, there’s corn dogs, turkey legs, and lots of other foods found during Trump’s colonoscopy.” He humorously remarked on musical guests dropping out of celebrations: “It’s the first event where B.Y.O.B. means ‘bring your own band.’”

Punchy World Cup Jokes

Fallon delivered punchy lines about the U.S. team’s World Cup match against Turkey: “The outcome of this game doesn’t matter. It’s meaningless for both teams.” He showcased humorous signs fans brought to the game, like “Who is this for?” and “If I wanted to see expired turkey, I’d go to Subway.”

An off-field highlight featured Greg Gutfeld’s quip about a Brooklyn escort service charging $10,000 an hour to soccer players due to the slow scoring: “That’s what happens when you can’t use your hands.” Meanwhile, Josh Johnson poked fun at the T.S.A. restrictions for World Cup visitors carrying ranch dressing: “No one’s going to blow up a plane with a bottle of ranch. The bathroom, maybe, but not the plane.”