Managing Parenting Stress and Emotions

Your toddler wants apple juice, your older child demands more screen time, and your boss sends a last-minute request. Suddenly, your nervous system feels overwhelmed, and you’re on the brink of losing your temper. If you often find yourself getting angry with your family, licensed marriage and family therapist Cassidy Freitas offers a solution: slowing down and resetting. In her book Mom Needs A Moment, Freitas explains how to find refuge in ‘the margins,’ or the small spaces in your day. She emphasizes that having space is essential for emotional balance, especially for today’s exhausted parents who spend more time on childcare and work than two decades ago, according to a 2024 advisory by the U.S. Surgeon General.

Managing Stressful Mornings

Consider this scenario: you’re stressed, your older child is late, your toddler needs a new diaper, and your keys are missing. Freitas suggests placing your hand on your chest as a cue to reset, then take a deep breath. This motion signals a pause for you and your children. Use this brief space to take slow, intentional breaths, calming your nervous system. Afterwards, reflect on the root cause of your anger. Are you concerned about judgment from other parents and teachers for being late? Understanding the real issue helps in making better choices later.

Decision-Making: Work vs. Family Time

Imagine you want to attend a work happy hour, but it conflicts with the only night you can be present for your child’s bedtime this week. Freitas suggests applying advice you’d give a friend in a similar situation. Many parents struggle to create space for themselves amidst the demands of parenting. If guilt arises from spending time away from your kids, examine its origin instead of letting it dictate your actions. Freitas notes emotions are data messengers. Guilt’s purpose might be to alert us about misalignment with our values. But is that accurate here? Prioritizing friendship is something you might want your children to emulate. You might be a more connected parent by valuing these opportunities.

Repairing Relationships After Losing Your Cool

Reaching a breaking point when finishing a to-do list, only disrupted by your kids’ needs, leads to anger — followed by immediate regret. Freitas reassures that losing your temper happens to every parent. Children, with big emotions, are developing relationships requiring repair. Demonstrating how you handle mistakes teaches them to do likewise. Explain — in way they understand — that your outburst wasn’t entirely their fault. Taking time to address a tough moment and acknowledging errors fosters connection and compassion. Children appreciate this; they want to see you authentically, learning from mistakes, making it easier for them to learn similarly. Freitas regards repair as the strongest tool in parenting.

Additional Resources on Stress and Parenthood

For guidance on sharing household chores, experts Eve Rodsky and Jacqueline Misla offer strategies to equitably divide domestic tasks with partners or roommates. Coping with parental burnout means recognizing the physical and mental strain preventing enjoyment of family time. Transitioning back to work post-family leave involves managing emotions as a new parent and adapting to job responsibilities. This digital story was edited by Malaka Gharib, with visuals by CJ Riculan, and illustrations by Malaka Gharib.

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