Reducing Mental Load: Insights from Leah Ruppanner’s New Book

How do you manage the mental load—those tasks and reminders that crowd your mind daily? Sociologist Leah Ruppanner addresses this issue in her new book, Drained: Reduce Your Mental Load to Do Less and Be More. The book presents evidence-based strategies to ease what she terms “emotional thinking work,” allowing for a more purposeful use of mental energy.

Ruppanner, a professor at The University of Melbourne, highlights the significant mental load women often bear. Her research, involving over 3,000 U.S. parents, demonstrates that women handle more than 70% of domestic mental tasks. These include managing schedules and delegating chores.

Several cultural myths exacerbate this burden. One myth suggests women excel at multitasking, but studies indicate that no one is truly good at multitasking; instead, people switch tasks, which depletes cognitive resources.

Another myth is that women inherently make better household managers than men. Research shows that men involved in primary childcare and household duties experience improved health and happiness. Ruppanner also disproves the stereotype that “men can’t see mess.” In a study, both men and women equally recognized room cleanliness and messiness.

Understanding Your Mental Load

Ruppanner recommends identifying your mental load by using tools like the Mental Load Audit. This process organizes mental tasks into eight categories, such as life organization, emotional support, and individual upkeep. Categorization helps in assessing whether tasks drain or recharge energy.

Start by determining what tasks are essential and who requires your immediate attention. One mother described balancing requests from a book club, PTA, and parents. Ruppanner advises prioritizing the truly critical relationships and responsibilities.

Practical Ways to Lighten the Load

Outsourcing responsibilities, like hiring a cleaner, often incurs costs. Technology provides alternatives, such as meal planning apps and calendar management software. Embracing a “good is good enough” mindset helps in deciding when high standards aren’t worth the mental effort.

The ultimate goal is to maintain energy for creating fulfilling lives, exploring passions, and thriving—without constant depletion. Ruppanner offers a quiz to evaluate your mental load’s intensity and provides strategies for easing it.